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Best Wishes

by on July 31, 2014

                                                             Best Wishes

                                                      by Marco M. Pardi

Note: All comments are appreciated, read, and responded to accordingly.  Although I do not wish for things, I will certainly look forward to your comments.

“What time would it be if all the clocks were stopped?” Zen Koan.

Few words stop me cold, bump me into neutral like “Make a wish.” I have no sense of how that can in any way be logical. Never did.  Through the decades I have been fortunate that my circumstances, and perhaps my personality, almost entirely prevented those few willing to do so from having birthday parties for me.  My ex-wife did so once, complete with candle festooned cake and people gathered around telling me to make a wish and blow the candles out.  Always open to possibilities, I acquiesced.  However, when the celebrants failed to drop dead my faith faded.

I have written elsewhere about Hope, and so will not reprise that missive.  Hope is usually more amorphous, while wishes tend more to the specific.  And since the advocacy of wishing seems to crop up everywhere,  I find it worthy of examination.

Of course, the origins of wishful thinking are lost in the soft matter of our evolution.  But, I do not doubt they evolved with our sense of “time” and, for those who think/feel this way, a sense of some power to be either coerced or cajoled into bringing to being a state or result which the wishing individual feels incompetent to accomplish alone.  Many books have been written on these two options, coercing or cajoling, and two within my arm’s reach are: The Book of Ceremonial Magic, A Complete Grimoire (1970) by Arthur Edward Waite;  and, Etruscan Magic and Occult Remedies (1963) by Charles Godfrey Leland.  Like other books in this area of study, they are fascinating as examples of just how obsessive people can become.  Of course, as society seems to become more complex and individual circumstances less navigable, the genre thrives. Social disorder drives a need for personal order, social impotence for personal power.

Having somehow missed being fully vested into the social order, I was always freer to explore my own order, my own coherence, my own sense of waking up basically the same person I was the night before.  That also meant that if I awakened without what I had gone to bed missing the night before it was because I did not spend the night getting it, or at least developing a plan.

I mentioned in a previous blog the event wherein I surrendered my virginity on the psychic altar, going to a psychic for the first time.  I was accompanied by a fellow Strike Team Leader, a deeply caring and good hearted chap with a flinty exterior; he would shoot your grandmother and spare your dog.

Expecting burning incense, plastic trumpets descending on fishing line, and ghostly sound effects from a tape loop, I got a kitchen table, a deck of plain playing cards, and a command to make three silent wishes.

Once opened, as it were, to that kind of experience I found myself encountering more “psychic readers.”  Soon I felt able to distinguish between those who use fairly objective tools – I Ching or Tarot, in which both reader and sitter can see the device and the textual interpretation and those who use items merely as props – tea leaves, playing cards, crystal ball, cracks in a burnt scapula, etc.  While the tools interest me to this day, the people who only use props have been of greater interest.  

Most of my adult life has been involved in the practice of engaging people in ways which get them to divulge information.  Debriefing psychics has been no different.  As with other categories of people, the unreliable witnesses, fakers, and just plain loonies are quickly sorted out.  The remainder, the ones with that stunning accuracy, are the gems shining up from the floor of Shit Creek.   

And so, after several gem interviews,  I was able to arrive at what seemed a common denominator: Most reported that in a very short time they enter a mild trance state, no longer really seeing the crystal ball, the tea leaves, or even the sitter himself.  Instead, in what some would call an aura and others would call a kind of internal state in the reader, they see facets of and episodes in the life of the sitter coming into focus, fading back and giving way to more such until they are all done.  These usually occur in no particular order, the chronology being up to the reader, especially since the sitter will almost invariably ask.  The significant take-away from this is that these events,  while hinting by their content at chronology, are for the reader equally valid and occurring concurrently.  There is no This Now and That Later.  In short, all is equally real and equally now; it is only our physical dimension which, like an old ice tray, insists on putting the cubes in their proper order.

This matched very nicely with phenomena I have experienced through most of my early life.  I did not see things for or about other people; I saw them about myself.  Wishing had nothing to do with them.  I am not by any means a competitive person; I don’t care if you win, I win, or we both win – unless you are trying to kill me. Then, I win.  I look at what people do, no matter what it is, and assume I can probably also do it.  Aging has narrowed that focus.  Somewhat.  So I began to examine memories of these early life phenomena, these vivid and living perceptions I had seemingly “before” the events.  Around age 9,  I saw myself as one day developing a life threatening illness.  Decades later I did so, and obviously recovered.  At 11 or 12 I saw the blonde haired Swiss girl I would one day marry.  After a Scandinavian detour, I married her some 35 years later.  At 13 or 14 I saw myself as the father of a little girl.  I had no sense of being married to anyone during this fatherhood.  As my daughter was being delivered – to my Scandinavian then-wife, people in the waiting room asked me what names (boy – girl) we had picked out.  I said I had never considered a boy name since it was a girl.  The marriage did not last much longer.  At around 16 I saw the make and model of an impossibly expensive English sports car I would own.  Eight years later I bought a new one from the showroom, straight up cash, as I buy all my cars.  In no case did I ever experience a sense of wishing for the event or result; I simply saw it as fact, like it or not.   

And, in one of my sojourns accompanying a person who had died the person pleaded with me to come along (to the other side and into the light).  No one else was around, no robed dudes intoning solemn words.  I simply stopped at a threshold I sensed and said (mentally) “It’s not my time.” (Note: Every such Sympathetic Death Experience I remember was verified at the time by information I received quickly following my return.  In this case the phone rang some 20 minutes after I regained consciousness on this plane and I was informed of the sudden death of a woman I had a tangential connection with.  This is the usual pattern for me.)

So how does this square – or trapezoid, or even rhomboid with our quickly growing understanding of quantum mechanics?  Unfortunately, the make-a-quick-buck-off-the-gullible crowd has swamped the popular scene with books, cd’s, seminars and workshops on “creating your own reality”, a fundamental misunderstanding of quantum mechanics.  And, even among those who are seriously interested, there are still some misperceptions – or incomplete perceptions.  A fascinating and readily demonstrable principle emerging from quantum mechanics is Quantum Entanglement, the phenomenon in which two entities (usually electrons) separated by extreme distance react simultaneously as a pair when change is introduced to only one of the pair.  Leaving aside questions on the nature of the intervening “empty space”, problems arise when one views this phenomenon only on a concurrent, horizontal plane.  When viewed fully through the lens of Space/Time,  we understand that entanglement applies universally, it applies in all “directions”.  Thus, “past” is entangled with “future” and “future” with “present” and so on.  Just as there apparently is no discreet “here” and “there”, there is no discreet “now” and “then”. What is, is. Time and space are simply arbitrary measures needed for some levels of human brain function.  The psychic temporarily steps out of brain function and into mind function, perceiving what, in translation, we will render as “past, present and future” when pressed to do so by the sitter.  The psychic, without cues such as a vision of the sitter at a particular age,  will commonly say that fixing a “time” to the vision is difficult if not impossible.

Lest we protest that this smacks of Fatalism, let us consider that Fatalism itself is premised on a separation of present from future; “You’se gonna’ take a dark trip wit’ a long stranger.” The real message seem to be that the dark trip was never not you, at conception or (if you are so inclined, even before). The future is entangled with the past and we live in a practically immeasurable present (“When you can take the pebble from my hand, Grasshopper”).

In studying the phenomena associated with dying and death I have encountered many claims of “my life flashed before my eyes” and/or a “review of episodes during life”.  My suspicion is that these events are mind breaking loose from brain, mind seeing without the brain bound dimensions of artificial temporality – the “past, present and future” stuff, mind seeing What Is. Some of us, either by training or by some as yet unknown function of development are able to do that without having to go through life threatening circumstances.  It “comes naturally.”

It follows (pun intended) then, that wishing is simplistic nonsense; it is a detour away from what IS into a fantasy of what isn’t, with a dose of hubris added in: If I wish it, I can make it so.

“There are two tragedies in life: one is not to get your heart’s desire; the other is to get it.” G. B. Shaw, Man and Superman, 1905               

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  1. So, wishing is nonsense? I think nonsense is some of the most fun to be had. You have had some very interesting experiences. I think you recall the class at PCC, “Paranormal Psychology”. The things I witnessed in that class that were not humanly possible changed my whole belief system. David Eagleman’s philosophy best describes how I feel.


  2. Thank you, Mary. I’ll check this out. In the meantime, I’m looking for that lamp to rub. Marco


  3. What a marvelous post! I have read it multiple times, and it never fails to hold my interest from first word to last. The “birthday party” story always gives me a chuckle, perhaps because I imagine I know how close to the truth it holds.

    The first time I read this, I would have told you that I have rarely, if ever, made a wish. This would have been a false statement. That I do not make profound wishes would come closer to the truth. The words “I wish” generally follow a moment of exasperation, and proceed whatever I think will best make that emotion vanish.

    There’s no point in wishing for changes to happen when the changes I need made in my life are, for the most part, under my control. If I want something badly enough, it is generally within my power to make it happen. I have zero doubt this is also true for you.

    I, too, have had moments of pure knowing, although they were not always pleasant bits of knowledge. I knew my husband was the one I was destined to marry more than a year before we started dating; I was fourteen years old at the time, and didn’t get why my cousin had such a crush on him. I have sensed the death of several members of my family at or before it occurred. These bits of knowledge come with a gut-punched sensation that doesn’t ease until its source is known.

    Thinking from the end, acting as if something is real before it (technically) is, is the finest way of bringing it into fruition. I believe that’s because we put into action those attitudes and behaviors which make it so. Wishing for something to happen, or to change, without those behaviors is a complete waste of time.


    • Thank you, Rose. I must say I am deeply happy in reading that you found this meaningful. I suppose I derive great comfort from seeing that something I do has meaning for someone, especially for a person of your depth and understanding. Marco


  4. Agree with Rose on so many things and first of all “What a wonderful post !” 🙂
    Yes,the moments of knowing or pre-knowing have been in my life experience too, some welcomed and some less…
    It is difficult to say if it is a gift or a curse to know things beforehand.

    Anyway, this last thing you say ” My suspicion is that these events are mind breaking loose from brain, mind seeing without the brain bound dimensions of artificial temporality – the “past, present and future” stuff, mind seeing What Is.” is so profound to me and it says so succinctly and clearly something so difficult to explain.

    I am really mystified by who you are and the life you have led, and although I know it was not always happy, it is an awesome life to live and a great honor for me to get to know you even if just for a part of it.

    As for your birthday party, that made me really laugh and think how glad and lucky I was not to be among the participants !! 😉


  5. Thank you, FOAL. Perhaps it speaks of our entanglement that you, so distant from me in “space”, bring the gentle wisdom and knowing that I so deeply felt with my horses. I know your essence as FOAL was not just some literary device. At times I do regret that we, at least for now, do not have the luxury of sitting face to face and exploring our realities. If I could wish for something it would be to accompany you on your many travels as you discover new things and see as no tourist ever sees. But for now, I am very glad we have this connection. Marco


    • Thank you Marco, I am very moved by your words. And yes, in FOAL `s name there is so much more than an acronym ! You so easily saw through it …
      As for my many night travels 🙂 you would have loved my last one (yesterday night ).
      I was flying as an eagle over mountains, forests and rivers, it was a most fabulous adventure !! and stunning VIEWS that certainly no tourist could ever see, but I hope that when I make a blog post of it , you`ll be able to feel the connection, so we can somehow share the experience… MAKE A WISH !! … 😉


  6. Dana permalink

    Marco. I have this entertaining image of you – first, smiling as you close your eyes and make the birthday wish.

    Next is the classic Marco deadpan expression upon opening your eyes – followed with “Oh, you’re still there.”

    Or something like that.


  7. Dana permalink

    Marco you may recall my sharing that I knew I was going to marry my first husband the moment I first saw him. It had absolutely nothing to do with wanting or even later attempting to meet or date him. I merely somehow….knew.

    This has always puzzled me, and even now I have no idea how to comprehend, much less explain this to myself or anyone else.


    • Dana, I felt from the outset that you were one of us (those who are aware). I know the turmoil of the past few years has distracted you, and I can only imagine what you have gone through. Yet, as things settle and you (and Billie) have more peace within which to meditate about things I am certain you will experience again the completeness and peace of knowing yourself. It was that strength which brought you through all this, and it is that strength that will provide you with deeper and more satisfying understanding – which would be something to see since you are so understanding of this world already. Marco


  8. You can certainly see your skills in the work you write.

    The sector hopes for more passionate writers like you who are
    not afraid to say how they believe. Always go after your heart.


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