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Into The Void

by on August 10, 2020

by Dana Renee

last night she didn’t sleep a bit

don’t worry she’ll be fine

but once again she’s in the pit

(the void shaped like your mind)

 

no other mind will ever do

no things can satisfy

no drug is ever shaped like you

the shape that gets her high

 

it’s not her fault she never knew

she didn’t know her brain

could dig a hole shaped just like you

then fill it up with pain

 

the Special Interest far beyond

a train, a plane, a map

sometimes she wants a magic wand

to free her from your trap

 

a bump, a drink, some tears, a song

yet nothing filled the hole

it’s good it’s bad it’s right it’s wrong

confusion takes a toll

 

most times content but later sad

her tears mixed up with joy

then discontent with feelings glad

the muse the fan the toy

 

it’s not your fault you couldn’t know

you’ll never know her brain

or places she thought she might go

or wishes wished in vain

 

she’s better now yet not today

today she’s in the throes

of thoughts that will not go away

so to your mind she goes

 

she looks and waits and lives for word

your words can soothe her soul

and leave her feeling reassured

(but words can’t make her whole)

 

From → Uncategorized

13 Comments
  1. Ray Rivers permalink

    Awesome – can i put it to music?

    Ray Z. Rivers 445 Mountsberg Rd., Campbellville ON L0P 1B0 Home and Mobile – 905-659-2069 rayzrivers@gmail.com

    Like

  2. Mike Stamm permalink

    Wonderful; thank you.

    Like

  3. Dana. You are truly remarkable. I’ve read this over a dozen times and it deeply affects me every time.

    Like

    • Dana permalink

      Thank you, Marco. I’m relieved the years riddled with angst have come to an end, and that I can finally relax and enjoy life to the fullest extent.

      I deeply appreciate your permission to use your blog as my platform.

      Dana

      Like

  4. Elizabeth Martinez permalink

    Dana wrote this?

    Like

    • Dana permalink

      Hi Liz. I wrote it yesterday, although it’s been a while since I felt that sort of anguish. I wasn’t aware people an autistic person knows and cares about can also be all-consuming special interests. It makes sense to me now, but it certainly didn’t prior to diagnosis and even for some time afterward.

      It’s really incredible to learn so many new things about myself, things that once bewildered and even upset me. As I said to Marco, I can finally enjoy life and relax.

      Like

  5. Sadly accurate. I’ve worked with so many that this speaks to. Well done.

    Like

    • danarenee71 permalink

      Thanks for reading and responding, Léa. It was a pleasure to write and share it, and fortunately, I haven’t felt this angst in a while.

      Like

  6. We never know when or how our ghosts will visit us. However, we do grow in courage and learn that we are in charge now and WE have the final word. Not all the experience is professional, like many who go into Psychology, we are also survivors.

    Like

  7. This is amazing, indeed… Thank you for visiting and following by blog.

    Like

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