Lessons From Holy Week
Lessons from Holy Week
by Br. Mark Dohle
Mark Dohle is a Cistercian (Trappist) monk living in a monastery near Atlanta, Georgia. All comments are welcome and will receive a reply. Readers are encouraged to forward this post as they choose. All previous posts are open for comment.
Holy Week has some powerful truths to tell us if one can ponder them. This also means contemplating one’s life. If a Christian, this can lead to a deeper understanding of one of life’s mysteries. That is of course, why there is so much injustice in the world, so much random suffering. No one escapes suffering, not even the richest and most powerful. In fact, in their way, they may suffer more than others. Being rich and powerful brings pitfalls that those of us who are more ordinary do not have to face.
No one likes to suffer. When there is no meaning to one’s suffering, I believe it makes it twice as bad, and harder to bear. To think of suffering means looking at life in a broader context. Is it something we simply endure until death? For many that answer is yes. For the Christian believer, there are other ways to tackle this problem.
Like any path of any depth, the path to deeper faith, understanding, and trust can be a slow one. Growth in the spiritual life takes at least some discipline and focus. We can parrot pious sayings, the living them out is another reality altogether.
If people want to know what you believe and hold to, they can see it in how you live out your beliefs. Faith is a leaven that over time fills our souls. It is not some black-and-white, quote bible verse kind of thing. If we speak from the heart, if we seek to follow Christ, and do so through deep suffering, as well as joy, we will become a conduit for the Spirit to speak through us. If not, we can become just an empty barrel speaking words that are not believed or followed by the speaker. People see this, we all see it when the dichotomy is so great that we know that we may want to listen, but not follow the example of the one preaching, or speaking.
Jesus lived out who he was. What he was caused great hatred and fear. When Jesus looked at someone, he saw the truth about that person. He saw, loved, and sought to heal and bring salvation. The only people he was rough with were people like me, professional and religious. We can be the worst. He had to use rough tactics to get our attention. Yes, tough love.
Jesus endured every kind of indignity that can be endured by any human. Yet, he never stopped loving. On the cross he forgave all, that is something to ponder.
We are called to that. Our response to suffering will test our faith, and in that, we grow because we choose. Peter fell, yet he got back up again, and he responded with grace. Judas did not. We all must be tested by fire. So, reading, and praying over the Gospels can help us to be open to the Holy Spirit. The more we seek the wisdom in the Scriptures, the more we will love and respond to the Word of God.
If we are not on the way slowly growing into the person that Jesus is calling us to be, it is a waste of time to seek to change others. If we do not love others, our preaching is rooted in the type of judgment that Jesus strongly forbids.
So, this Holy Week, ponder how Jesus suffered, how he responded to his dark night of profound suffering, and where it led him. May we all follow in his footsteps.-Br.MD
A Reply from Marco M. Pardi:
Thank you, Mark, for a very well developed post. You have clearly expressed concepts appropriate to all of us, whatever religion, philosophy, or code of ethics we may follow.
Yet, while I have heard and/or read similar expressions of these concepts over the years I have never felt I gained satisfactory answers to the questions they raise. For example, you know I was born into Fascist Italy. And you know my English grandmother, my mother (American only by birth in New York City to an Italian father and English mother but raised entirely in Europe), my older brother (American by birth to an American citizen before the declaration of war), and me (the only family member with full Italian citizenship and no legal connection to America or England) had to go into hiding for ten months to evade the OVRA, the Organizzazione per la Vigilanza e la Repressione dell’Antifascismo – Organization for Vigilance and Repression of AntiFascism, Mussolini’s Secret Police. My grandmother, stranded in the country by the declaration of war while visiting, could not speak a word of Italian. My mother, although with native fluency in several languages, had only American papers, and my brother, though born in Rome like me but before the declaration of war, had only American papers. My father, an Italian Colonel and covert operative in the Resistance, was somewhere out of the country.
OVRA offered significant rewards to anyone who discovered and informed on “enemies of the State”. My family would have been arrested and deported to a concentration camp and likely soon killed. I would have been handed to a Fascist family until they could place me with the Figli Della Lupa (Sons of the Wolf), the organization Hitler modeled his Jugend Korps upon.
So, where should I have directed my love? To the people who would gladly have sold us out for an extra ration book? Or for just another 33 pages of ration coupons? To the OVRA men who would have gang raped my mother before killing her? Perhaps I could have put true meaning into the phrase, Love them to death.
When the Allies reached Rome my mother came forward and became an OSS officer, working under James Jesus Angleton, the eventual Deputy Director for Counter-Intelligence CIA. There was no love lost as she applied her language skills to captured documents and intercepts to ferret out hidden SS and OVRA officials.
In the 1960’s I voluntarily spent six years in military service, going on to other government positions. I will not recount the lovable people I encountered but I can assure you they would have offered no love to you.
Now, should I love the people, particularly of one political party, who would choose to make the United States a Fascist dictatorship, condemning my daughter and grandchildren to a life I know too well? In the four years we endured under the recently previous administration we have seen this group emerge from the shadows they entered in 1941 and infiltrate the mechanisms of our society from local school and library boards to the “Supreme Court”, spreading hate and violence throughout the land. We have seen them declare the free press “Enemies of the State”. We have heard them promise reprisals and revenge upon any and all who have not converted to the cult, threatening librarians and medical workers with prison sentences, branding immigrants as “poisoning the blood of our country”, emptying the Civil Service and refilling it with those sworn only to the Leader (Fuhrer in German). And yet they have elevated their dictator-in-waiting to once again be our President. How do we neuter them lovingly?
Most of us have heard the saying, Hate the sin, love the sinner. Well, there are sinners who won’t stop until they are stopped. And stopped can take any of several forms. I have no doubts that there are those who would say I am “burned out” from too many years of encountering and considering some of the worst of humanity. My answer is always the same: As long as there is someone to shine the light there will be no place to hide.
mpardidotcom 
From Br. Mark:
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Thank you Brother Mark for this post.
I think the distinction you make between those who claim to have certain beliefs and those who actually live them through their choices and behaviors is important. The first one is easy, the second much harder but also more fulfilling and meaningful.
You described it so well as ” living out who you are”. It is the difficult and challenging times in life that ultimately shows to us who we truly are through the choices we make. I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but I at least try to behave in a way I can live with later and still love respect myself. Ultimately all we can do is try our best each day.
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This post has had me thinking for days about love, hate, and forgiveness. It hasn’t always been easy for me to view perspectives other than my own. Some of my own feelings and opinions have changed drastically over the years. I suppose that can happen with experience, maturity, and personal growth – a lifelong process.
With emotionally charged topics like this, respecting and validating the feelings of others has been an essential first step for me. We don’t have to agree in every area, and does anyone have all the right answers? Yet these two-part posts have really helped me to see how we can inspire thought and have polite discourse. In the past I would often be left feeling frustrated I couldn’t change what others do or think. My intentions were good, never with the goal of being “right” or to “win.” I was always picked last for elementary school team sports in P.E. because I wasn’t competitive. All I really wanted was for everyone to have fun, feel comfortable, and to get along. That holds true today.
Years ago I read “The Wisdom of Forgiveness: Intimate Journeys and Conversations” (His Holiness Dalai Lama XIV and Victor Chan 2004). I’m not certain I could reach a similar level compassion or empathy for anyone and everyone, especially if there were ever a long history of oppression.
Love, hate, and forgiveness are subjective terms, emotions, and actions open to personal interpretation. I don’t care if someone hates me, but that does not give them permission to abuse me in any way. Hate is just another word that may not result in action. Feeling and doing are entirely different. I would imagine”hate” in other languages and cultures can be interpreted differently than what some consider it to mean here.
What I don’t understand is true hatred for an entire demographic. I also cannot comprehend a country built upon slavery and systemic racism. It is a nightmare still ongoing today, and growing worse by the moment. There is nothing to forgive about the perpetrators of this, ones who will probably never be open to change.
I am adamant that survivors of various forms of abuse or traumatic events at the hands of others should never be told they need to “forgive” the perpetrators. They don’t have to. We know today this notion can inflict further harm and re-victimize the individual. We should instead have better (or any) support for the resultant psychological, emotional and even physical damage so survivors can lead better lives. That is far more critical than how they should feel about those responsible for permanent damage or incurable disorders like PTSD. I would far rather disregard the abusers altogether and focus on my own life. Survivors should also be permitted the entire range of human emotion for as long as they need, including anger. In proper settings, anger can be an effective coping mechanism when expressed internally and verbally. Suppressing anger over personal injustices can lead to further abuse, or a lifetime of being a “doormat” for others. Anger may inspire activism and change that is beneficial and far reaching.
For those able or ready begin a healing process, which internal “forgiveness” can also sometimes mean, this is deeply personal and without any formula or chronological timeline. The notion of “don’t go to bed mad” after an argument isn’t right for everyone. There are countless individuals who may require a far longer period for processing their emotions, such as those with Autism Spectrum Disorder. We are all completely different humans, and that’s what makes us interesting.
What is right for me may be precisely the opposite of what another needs in order to move forward. And sometimes one’s eyes may suddenly open, a light bulb that is turned on without warning, an epiphany of sorts. That has happened in my case, and forgiveness began within myself even without the acknowledgement of others. It wasn’t anything I consciously did, but self-knowledge and awareness helped. Some people can acknowledge their mistakes without ever saying a word or without asking for forgiveness. Their actions and caring in other areas may speak far louder than any apology.
Within me, there is often a well of compassion and ability to emphasize, but there are some things I cannot abide. For those incapable of basic human decency, I thus feel incapable of compassion toward them. One such sociopath was the “Rev.” Mack Ford who for decades built and ran two compounds for “wayward children,” one in Arcadia, Louisiana, and the other in Walterboro, South Carolina. Well, I can’t rightly say he “ran” these operations, given his victims kept them running through unlawful, forced child labor. He was an absolute monster, as were most of his staff. He scammed parents and destroyed the lives of countless individuals, some ending their own lives years later. He was akin to a North Korean dictator, even installing swimming pools for the VERY brief tour parents were permitted. There is no swimming or horseback riding in forced labor camps. The only satisfaction I gained was the news of Mack Ford’s death in 2014. He lived far too long, unlike some of his victims did or will.
Finally, I would absolutely never forgive or have a shred of compassion for the perpetrators, politicians, representatives, local law enforcement and outsiders who continue to allow places like that to operate. They are lining their own pockets and wielding power on the destroyed souls and lives of innocent children and teens. Similar places still exist, with both religious and secular outfits all over North America. That in itself is unforgivable.
This was intended to be a short reply, and to express my appreciation for the continued efforts on the site. Didn’t mean to write an essay! But thank you, Br. Mark for being so open and willing to express yourself here. Your spiritual path and especially your decades of caring for others is admirable beyond words.
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